


lyrical smile, indigo eyes

by waywardprentiss



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Coming Out, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pansexual Character, Religious Discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24595780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardprentiss/pseuds/waywardprentiss
Summary: Sonny looks at him hesitantly. "You're not just flirting with me because you just found out I like guys, right?"Rafael gives him an affronted look. "I've been flirting with you this whole time, Carisi."
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71
Collections: Barisi Pride 2020





	lyrical smile, indigo eyes

**Author's Note:**

> this is for the barisi pride challenge and i chose blue + coming out.

Forlini's is packed when they arrive.

They've just wrapped up a difficult case and after convicting the guy, Fin suggested a round of drinks at their usual spot.

Everyone was all too eager to agree.

They all settle in around a table in the back and Sonny lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Rafael signals for a waiter to come over and take their order. 

He asks for his usual scotch. Sonny, Amanda and Fin order beers while Olivia asks for a glass of red wine.

When the waiter comes back with all their drinks, Olivia lifts her glass.

"A toast." Sonny can see the tiredness behind her eyes but also the deep gratification of a successful verdict. "Great job, everyone."

She throws a pointed look in Rafael's direction and the two of them share a smile.

"It was a hell of a week." Amanda says as they all lift their drinks in a toast.

After they take first sips of their drinks and settle in for a minute, Fin sighs.

"Hell of a case." They all nod in agreement. "The ones with priests are always bad - no offense, Carisi."

Sonny shrugs him off. "None taken. Some people do some pretty sick things in the name of religion."

He catches Rafael's eye. The other man gives him a knowing look.

"Then they give the ones who are actually trying to do some good a bad name." Sonny pauses to take a sip of his beer. "Like when I was in college? A priest saved my life."

He turns to Olivia, emphasizing his point. "Saved my life."

She smiles at him and he turns his head back to the others. He clears his throat.

"That was when I figured out I wasn't straight." He huffs. "And boy, did my parents take it bad."

Sonny sees Amanda's eyes widen.

"You know, it was the usual bullshit. They said it was a sin. That God didn't make me this way. That I'd go to hell if I didn't change."

He makes eye contact with Rafael across the table and can see his own pain reflected in his eyes. Rafael just shakes his head sadly.

"God, Sonny." Amanda says, the disgust clear in her voice.

"Our relationship is better now. Not great, but." He cuts off shrugging. He pauses for minute, gathering his thoughts.

"Anyway this priest, man, he comforted me. He told me that God loved me. He told me that I was made in His image. So any love that I felt for someone, no matter their gender, would be okay with Him because He is love."

Sonny's chest warms when he sees Rafael's small smile. He clears his throat. "He helped restore my faith, honestly."

He chuckles at bit at Amanda and Fin's stunned faces. 

It's Olivia who speaks.

"Wow, Carisi." She pauses, seemingly lost for words.

Sonny ducks his head a bit in embarrassment. "Sorry, Lieu. I didn't mean to unload on you guys."

"Are you kidding?" Amanda exclaims. "You just came out to us!"

"Thank you for telling us." Rafael says softly. 

Sonny smiles shyly at him, feeling his ears burn hot at the sincere look on the other man's face.

"So, are you gay?"

He laughs at Fin's bluntness. "No, I'm pansexual."

Amanda glances at Rafael next to her before looking back at him. "That's like bisexuality, right?"

Rafael rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his scotch.

Sonny laughs at him before addressing Amanda.

"Yes and no. They're similar but different." He leans forward in his chair a little. "For me, gender isn't a determining factor in who I'm attracted to."

She nods, understanding.

He shrugs and adds. "I like who I like."

She smiles at him before turning to Rafael again. He holds a hand up before she can even open her mouth.

"Don't look at me, Detective. I'm not gonna give you a lecture on the definition of bisexuality." He puts his drink down. "That's not my job. Do your own research."

Amanda holds up her hands. "Okay, fair enough."

He sits back in his chair with a smirk on his face and Sonny can't help but huff at him.

Olivia shakes her head at all of them before turning to Sonny and placing a hand on his arm. "We support you, Carisi. Remember that."

Fin raises his beer. "Here, here."

Amanda smiles at him before taking a sip of her own drink.

He turns to see Rafael raise his glass in salute. They make eye contact and Rafael quirks an eyebrow up at him. Sonny feels his face flush again.

"Thanks guys."

Amanda coos at him. "Aw, he's turning red."

Olivia and Fin chuckle at him as he shakes his head. He sees Rafael's smirk widen.

He scoffs lightheartedly at them. "I think I need another drink."

Their laughter follows him as he makes his way to the bar. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Rafael get up and follow him.

He comes up beside him at the bar just when Sonny's motioning to the bartender for another beer.

The bartender looks at Rafael, silently asking if he'd also like something. He taps his knuckles on the counter before replying. "Scotch."

The bartender nods and goes about fetching their drinks.

Sonny settles into a bar stool as they wait for their drinks. Rafael leans against the counter close enough that Sonny can smell his cologne. 

After a minute, he waves a hand to Sonny's chest. "I like the new shirt."

Sonny shouldn't be suprised that Rafael noticed. The guy wears thousand dollar suits. He can't help but give Rafael a sceptical look though. All the man does is shrug.

He eyes Sonny's chest and Sonny can feel his face warm. Again. "Good quality. Nice fit."

Rafael pauses when he meets Sonny's eye. A smirk appears on his face. "Flattering color."

Sonny just stares at him for a second before stuttering out a thank you.

Rafael drops into the stool next to his when the bartender comes back with their drinks.

He's just taken a sip of his scotch when Sonny blurts. "The salesman said it made my blue eyes pop."

Rafael glances up at him over the rim of his drink. He huffs out a laugh and sets his drink down on the counter.

He turns in his seat slightly so he's facing Sonny head on. "He was right. It does."

Sonny looks at him hesitantly. "You're not just flirting with me because you just found out I like guys, right?"

Rafael gives him an affronted look. "I've been flirting with you this whole time, Carisi."

"What?" Sonny says stunned. "So, wait. You knew?"

"I suspected." Rafael's eyes dart to their surroundings. "You know how it is. Catholic school, Law school, being around cops. You learn to know who's "safe" to flirt with and who's not."

Sonny nods, looking down at his own hands wrapped around his drink. "Yeah."

He continues after a moment, his voice quiet. "I didn't think you liked me. Thought I annoyed you." 

Sonny shrugs. "I thought you brushed me off because you could tell I had a crush on you and didn't feel the same way."

"I do like you."

He looks up in surprise. Rafael is smirking at him, one hand casually touching the rim of his glass. "I could tell you had a crush on me." 

Sonny just stares at him for a minute and watches the smirk drop from Rafael's face.

"I'm sorry my feelings weren't obvious to you. I liked our banter." Rafael shrugs. "I didn't want to change that."

"Wow, Counselor." Sonny exhales, shaking his head. "I don't know what to say."

Rafael smirks again before taking another sip of his scotch.

Sonny studies him for a minute. "So, when were you gonna ask me out then? Did you just expect me to wait around for you?"

Rafael gives him a pointed look.

He scoffs. "Okay, yeah, I probably would have."

Rafael smiles. "You could've asked me."

He shrugs. "I guess I didn't want to ruin anything either."

Rafael reaches forward and places a hand on his thigh. "You wouldn't have."

He smiles shyly at him, feeling his face flush. The only thing he can focus on is how warm Rafael's hand is.

Rafael gently squeezes his leg. "I guess I was just looking for the right time to ask."

Sonny asks, his voice low. "Is now that time?"

Rafael gives him a heated look. "I think it is."

He leans forward. "Then what are we waiting for?"

-

They make their way out of the bar without a second glance behind them. 

The night air is crisp against Sonny's face.

Once they're out the door, he steps to the side and glances back at Rafael.

"Where do you wanna go? We could get something to eat?" 

He mumbles a bit over his words and Rafael smirks at him as they make their way down the street.

"We could." Rafael says slowly.

"Or." He looks knowingly up at Sonny. "You could come home with me."

Sonny's heart starts pounding in his chest. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." A smile breaks out over Rafael's face. "I live a few blocks away."

"I'd love to." He says, smiling at him so wide his cheeks hurt.

He looks down as they make their way down the sidewalk. He notices their strides are in sync and laughs quietly to himself.

Sonny looks up and takes in the sight of the city at night before turning back to look at the man next to him.

He watches as the streetlights flicker over Rafael's face and is struck speechless by how gorgeous it makes him look.

Rafael catches him looking and smirks.

He knows his face is an open book right now but he can't seem to find it in him to be embarrassed about it anymore.

"What?" Rafael asks softly.

"Nothing." Sonny shakes his head smiling. "It's just-"

He can't seem to put into words how happy he is right now. How glad he is that they're finally doing this.

"Yeah." Rafael reaches out and takes Sonny's hand in his. "I know."

-

The moment the two of them are inside Rafael's apartment, he's got Sonny pinned against the door.

Rafael kisses him with a force that surprises him and he can't help but gasp into Rafael's mouth. 

His releases his grip on Rafael's jacket to cup his jaw. His hands gently frame the other man's face as he turns his head to deepen the kiss.

His fingers thread through the hair at the nape of Rafael's neck and Rafael makes a noise of approval. 

Sonny pushes off the door to lead Rafael further into the apartment and through into the living room.

He takes his jacket off as Rafael's fingers start undoing his tie. He gasps when Rafael moves his attention from his mouth to start kissing his neck.

Sonny feels his tie come undone and fall to the floor. He grips Rafael's shoulders and tilts his head down to catch his mouth in another kiss. He scrambles to get Rafael's jacket off without disconnecting thier lips.

All of a sudden, Rafael's pushing him down the hall. Sonny catches a glimpse of their jackets on the floor, the brown and grey contrasting beautifully against his indigo tie.

The sight makes him sigh. It also distracts him enough to where he bumps into a cabinet in the hallway.

Rafael laughs into his mouth. He grips Sonny's hips, moving him to the side of the cabinet and up against the wall again. "Watch where you're going, Carisi."

Sonny huffs breathlessly. "You're the one pushing me down this hallway, Counselor."

"You're right, I am." Rafael growls low into his ear, rolling his hips against Sonny's as he starts kissing his neck.

Sonny grunts as Rafael trails a line of kisses across his neck until he reaches his chin and finally his lips.

"God, Carisi, your mouth." Rafael groans in between kisses.

He grins against Rafael's cheek when the other man pulls back slightly to catch his breath. "You talk all the time. Your mouth never stops moving." 

Sonny's grin widens. He leans forward, kissing him again.

They both laugh into the next kiss as he helps Rafael take off his brown waistcoat. 

He goes to throw it in the same direction his tie and both of their jackets landed when Rafael stops him with a hand on his arm. "Don't you dare."

He laughs as Rafael takes it from his hands. 

Sonny watches as Rafael walks back down the hall toward his living room with the waistcoat in hand and sees him pick up their discarded clothing. Rafael seems to inspect them for wrinkles before laying them all out gently on the couch.

Rafael leans down to take off his shoes and Sonny's mouth waters at the way his suspenders highlight his pecs.

Sonny hurriedly leans down to untie his own shoes as Rafael makes his way back down the hall toward him.

Once he reaches him, Rafael pushes him back against the wall and catches his lips in another kiss.

He moves his hands over Rafael's chest, his fingers catching on his suspenders. He slips his hands underneath them and Sonny can't help but groan into the kiss.

He pulls back slightly, glancing down at how to unclasp them. After a second, he forgoes trying to figure it out all together and just pushes them off Rafael's shoulders.

Sonny grins in victory at the man in front of him but freezes at the look on his face.

He can feel his grin drop a bit. "What?"

Rafael shakes his head. His eyes are focused on Sonny's mouth. A fond smile suddenly replaces the bewildered look that was on his face.

His hand moves to cup his face before his fingers reach out and trace Sonny's lips. "Your smile is breathtaking." 

Sonny doesn't know if it's Rafael's touch or his words that make his breath catch but he's struck speechless for a moment.

Rafael meets his eye. "It's very distracting."

Sonny lets a slow smile take over his face and can see the way Rafael's eyes darken. His own eyes dart down to watch as his fingers take off Rafael's pink and blue striped tie.

"I could say the same thing about your- well." He looks up at Rafael through his lashes. "Everything."

He moves to gently place the tie on top of the cabinet with a pointed look in Rafael's direction. He squeezes the back of Sonny's neck in response.

Sonny tips his head forward, nipping lightly at Rafael's lips. He starts to unbutton Rafael's shirt and the man hums against his lips, deepening the kiss.

After a minute, his hands start to trail slowly down Sonny's chest. His fingers toy with the buttons of his shirt.

"Come on, Rafael." Sonny all but whines into their next kiss.

Rafael smirks up at him as he toys with another button.

"Come on, Rafael." Sonny repeats. He leans closer to whisper low in his ear. "Quit playing and get me out of this shirt."

Rafael pulls back, his eyes dark. He quickly finishes unbuttoning Sonny's shirt.

He leans in close. Sonny can feel his breath on his lips. "Okay, then. Let's see how well those blue eyes pop when you're naked against my sheets."

Sonny grins down at him and let's himself be dragged through the door into Rafael's bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> let's hear it for queer religious folks because we exist and we rock!
> 
> title is from taylor swift's song "i think he knows"


End file.
